I met Him. #4

12:50ish, Level 5 at the library.

He gave me a CD with all, or most of his music on it.

& he's letting me shoot him for my next photography assignment.

<333

Definitely updating this post when I get time!

UPDATE:

That day was honestly amazing. Sure, the morning of was as chaotic as you could imagine, considering I was re-printing damaged photos for my photo1/film photography class, and I was basically running against time. But once the printing and photo class was over, I was so relieved because I'd handed in my second 20% assignment already, and I was off to the library.

At first I thought I was heading for two and a half hours of being by myself attempting to work on my history assignment, since I already circled the entire 5th floor and couldn't find him. But then I signed into ebuddy and turns out he was on level 4, because level 5 said 'silence' so he wasn't sure if he should go there or not. Haha aww. Well afterwards, he came upstairs and everything was great, once again. I mean sure, I didn't end up doing much work, but hey, I did borrow my first ever uni book, and I did write down a definition for my word, 'Diorama', so that's a start.

Basically what we ended up doing was bludging together, playing tetris, looking up music merch and I looked up plane tickets for my trip to melbourne for my course. But before that, I just casually talked about how I've already got another assignment to do for photo1 even though I just handed in my first task for that class, and asked if he wanted to be my 'model' for my next assignment, and almost immediately, he said yes. Obviously, I was over the moon, but I didn't want to look/sound too excited, so I calmly said 'alright, that's cool, thanks' and we moved on.

Afterwards while we were looking through sales on the fist2face website, I came across a CD that was slashed from $22 to $7, and then he went and said 'that actually is really cheap. speaking of which..' and he went to his bag and started searching for the CD he told me that he burnt for me last night with all/most of his songs on it. I knew what it was, but I didn't know what to do, so I just kept looking through the sales. Quite honestly, he is so sweet. I can't believe he took time out the night before just to compile a CD's worth of music for me. I've since gone through some of the folders, and unfortunately a lot of the files don't seem to be working/are m4vs, but that doesn't really matter, because it's the thought really does count a lot more than the actual gift. That's how I'll always see it. <3

Anyways, later on that night I asked him whether he was serious about helping me out with my assignment, and again he said sure, if it'll make it easier for me, he'll do it. Which just made my night that much better.

So now apart from attempting to do my history assignment, I'm also anxious/nervous/excited about this Tuesday, because I'll be with him for at least 2.5 hrs, if not more, depending on whether I'll have to start my collaboration with the Interior Design students at 2.30 or not. Either way, I'm hoping it'll be great, fun, random and relaxing! I'm shooting him (haha aww) in Utopia, and possibly at a park or in a dead end alley way or something, to get my assignment done well. I'm bringing my DSLR as well as the film SLR, just so maybe I'll be able to get some extra photos in so I can keep for myself. :) <3

Daniel! I can't believe you've made me so happy, even though I've only met you 4 times since primary school. You're amazing :)

Assignments, assessments, tasks, whatever you want to call them.

So basically a looooot has happened ever since uni started. It's actually quite hard to believe that I've done so much work in the past four weeks, because if this was high school, I'd probably only have written one page of notes, if any at all.

Photography 1: Film Photography. Assignment #1 - 20%

Exploring the use of apertures and shutter speeds on film SLRs. We learnt how to wash, develop and print our negatives. It sounds simple, but the process is pretty tedious and really technical. I actually messed up my first roll of film as well as a stack of my photo paper, because I exposed it to light directly. But hey, I guess that's how you learn.

Photographic Intervention: Light & Space Triptych. Assignment #1 - 20%

Explore how light is used to intervene to create space. What we had to do was explore the area of the city and create a triptych which best communicates the idea of light & space. Because they specified the city, all I could really think of was buildings, so I focussed purely on taking photos of buildings and how light & space is achieved within such images.

And well here we are, four weeks into uni life and I've already finished to assignments. The photography intervention assignment was due today, and to top things off, they brought in critics to critique our work, after we gave a mini presentation. I'd been stressing about it ever since we received the task 2 weeks ago, and by the time it was over, I stumbled, paused midway and completely messed up, but hey, it's the first task, I was sick, and it's the first time I've ever had to critique my own work. So it's okay. For now.

My photography 1 assignment is actually due next Wednesday, but because all our 7 prints had to be printed with the exact same settings, height, etc. except for the filters, I finished everything last Wednesday, so all that's left is to crop out the clumsy white borders which I can easily do on Wednesday.

I honestly would never have thought I'd be able to achieve so much in less than a month, especially considering that I haven't done much work at home still. Haha.

But this relaly is just the beginning, and I've already got 3 lovely assignments to look forward to:

Photography History & Theory: We're creating a mini photography dictionary full of terms and photographers, so everyone has been allocated a single word to write a 400-500 word essay on it. My word - Diorama.

Photography 1: We're exploring the use of exposures, dealing with both long and short exposures, where we need to capture our partner in an activity they love, or their cultural background.

Photographic Intervention: We're collaborating with the Interior Design students which will end with a gallery exhibition of our works in week 9.

Anyways, that's about it for now.

It's too hot to think & I just want to relax after such a crazy day today.

I met him #3

Yesterday. 1.40-3pm
We played tetris & I smashed his score.
Then we played pocket tanks & I pretty much suicided.

It's the little things that really count. :)

I met Him. #2

Sweetest. Boy. Ever. :)

Life is amazing, right about now.

I've been happy ever since Wednesday, and I can't believe this high is still happening after 3 days. I love this feeling, I really do, and it doesn't even matter if I've got a stack of work to do, I'm happy now and it's amazing. Sure, it might not last, but it sure as hell helps as a much needed break from all the tension and stress for the past year.

Isn't it funny how I'm more happy about the little things in life, rather than the bigger picture?

I might be going insane, but I looove this feeling (L)

I met him.

I met him today, March 10, 2010 at around 1.30pm at the UTS library.

It was actually probably the furthest thing from awkward. We basically just talked until 2.55 when he had to leave for a lecture and I had to make my way back to the tower building to head home. Sure, there were strange silences here and there, but overall it was just natural, casual and relaxed.

I couldn't have asked for anything more.

Yet he had to top it off by giving me a JB Hi-Fi gift voucher for my birthday last week.

I couldn't stop smiling, I was, and still am over the moon, because the thought was what truly mattered and I absolutely loved it.

:) Thankyou, Daniel. <3

Life & Uni

Uni's been good. Apart from the work and the thousands of dollars we have to spend on cameras and material, it's been good. I made another friend on Thursday, Fiona. So now we've got a little asian group happening. Niice.

Life.

Well, it's been sort of mixed really. Home life is terrible. This problem just keeps building up, it's been like this for the past year already, and I highly doubt it's going to stop anytime soon. Quite honestly, I don't think I'll survive the 3 or 4 years of uni if this continues, so I don't know. I've just got this feeling of fear, paranoia and doubt 24-7. I can't say what I think, I can't do what I need to, and I don't know how to handle any of it. I'm literally hearing voices and I'm shaking, and I don't know what's wrong with me. I can't tell anyone the whole truth, because that hurts too much and that means added stress for everybody. Last night was just horrible. I finally spoke out a little, and what I get in return is "oh yeah, go side with him, you hate me. everyone hates me." I mean, what am I supposed to do? Just sit there and pretend everything's just perfect and wonderful? I've done that for the past year, finding others I can speak to instead of letting my family know. It's been too long, how much longer can I put up with this?

Going onto the positive side of life though, I couldn't be more happier, finding and making the friends that I have now at uni. Sure, it's been just four days together, but we've all really just clicked. It's great. almost as if spending the past six years of highschool alone, or almost alone was worth the pain. I mean, I can actually be myself now, in a large, non-threatening environment, and it's amazing.  I really don't think anyone will ever realise how appreciative I am of this. I'll never be able to explain it. But I think, in a way, that's a positive too.

Also, going back to him, Daniel. He just honestly knows what to say. Last night was absolute crap, I come online, we talked about it for a little while, and he was just there to help distract me from everything. It was great. I mean yeah, I got a lot of things out, but afterwards it wasn't anything awkward at all, the conversation just flowed on and he helped me block out everything bad that was happening, and at first I didn't think it would work, but it did, he told me it would, and he carried it out and helped me. Even though I didn't believe him completely. He did it, and that's what counts.

That's about all I can manage to get out for now. Uni really is such a de-energiser. Don't get me wrong, it's great, it's just. Tiring. And confusing.

Call me naive, call me stubborn, call me ignorant..

But all I want for my birthday tomorrow is a stress-free, or at least a low-stress filled day, in which there won't be any arguments or fights at home.

The first day.

Ok, well this post isn't really going to have much of a structure or anything like that. I'm awake and I've only slept for 5hours..

Anyways, I basically had my first ever uni lecture yesterday at noon, which really isn't even a timetabled class, but one which our lecturer said we should go to weekly. Design Thinking. Overall it must have taken me about an hour to get there, so 45mins to drive, then 15mins to walk. I honestly thought the day was going to be terrible, despite feeling excited, anxious and nervous at the same time. It didn't exactly help that my lecture was in the science building either. Well eventually I got there, around 30mins beforehand, so I went to the bathroom first, then stood around infront just waiting for the class. I ended up meeting 3 girls for the 20mins beforehand, and another girl briefly while the previous class was leaving. Hoping that I remember their names, I think they were.. Anna, Lorraine, Michelle and Cinti? There's a few different courses that need to take this class, so none of them are actually in my course, but hey, meeting new people is always a plus.

So after the 20mins, we all huddled into the lecture hall, and sat through an hour of introductions, and knowing that I didn't have to attend their tutorials or even do their assignments made it awesome. After attending that lecture, it seemed as if the uni lectures weren't going to be so bad afterall, but this is really why they tell you not to jump to conclusions.

After that, I apparently had a lecture in building CM05B, so I walked all the way down to the Haymarkets in the pouring rain (just like in the morning) to the library, didn't realise it was the wrong building (CM05A), so I just went up and down the lifts trying to find my class but instead finding rooms for medicine. I wasn't too worried though, because by the time I arrived there, it was probably only 1.10, and my class was at 4. I was actually going to find Daniel at the library, so I walked around for a bit, then sort of gave up and sat at a computer to check my unimail. Turns out, there's been a permanent room change for my first official lecture! Oh yeah, before that, I asked the enquiry desk where my class was, and because of the building, they asked "are you doing law or business?" & I just replied with "um, I'm doing Photography.." which just made me feel completely out of place. I ended up walking further down to find my building, and yes, it was in the law building, which just freaked me out completely! I must've walked up those 3 levels 3 times, trying to look for my classroom, then I finally found it, so I walked back to the library. And yeah, after that I checked my mail and found the room change. Anyways, I didn't have anything to do, so I sat around at the library for about 20 mins, until it was 2PM, watching people go in & out, and then someone with a backpack leaves the library, and I'm almost certain it was Daniel, but I had no clue, so I didn't dare go up to him then. Shortly after, I left and trekked back to building 4 where my 12-1 class was held, only going upstairs this time, again, in the pouring rain.

Once I got there, it was obviously still early, so I ended up just sitting down outside my class for the next hour and 45, listening to my music. By the time it was say, 3.50, everyone started arriving and I found the girl I met from orientation day on Friday, Jane, so I walked over to her and she was with 2 other guys so I introduced myself. Andy and Berty, I'm pretty sure their names were. And a little bit afterwards, we sort of 'recruited' another person into the newly formed group, and his name was Leonard- one of the tallest Asians I've ever seen! And well yeah, then we entered the class and the lecture started. I taped the entire lecture, because that's what my sister said I should do, in case I miss anything during the talk. Luckily I did, too, because turns out, there's going to be construction happening right outside our class for the next 6 months, and if we're here again in the future, for the next 3 years! That was actually really annoying, and after listening to a bit of my lecture on playback, the drilling just left me with a headache, but I need to get through it, because there's so much I missed. It didn't exactly help that we were up the very back, either. At the end, we left the class, and all 6 of us were like "did you understand anything during that lecture?" & it was all just a "umm, I remember something about Herschel and Wedgewood, but not much.." Then Jane was like "argh, my head hurts from the construction and I didn't understand a thing. It was just like. OK, I'm deaf, and I really can't see a thing" Which was exactly what I was thinking. Typical asian style! Well, at least with the blindness..

Anyways, after that our entire class walked to the tutorial classroom, which was in the next building, BUT was on the highest floor: Level 7! A lot of people were taking the lift, so we decided to climb the stairs all the way, which was terrible, but hey, at least it's some exercise. The tutorial went from 5-7, wherein they simply explained what we should do, essay-wise, and how plagiarism is "probably the worst thing you can do in academia. probably even worse than doing speed in the toilets"! Well, they also talked about how even if we don't understand things, we're better off quoting extensively and explaining what we think the quote means, rather than plagiarising, because we'll almost definitely receive an instand fail.

Afterwards, we broke up for 15mins so we could meet the other people in our class, and we met a girl called Diana, who had a gap year and was only starting this year. It was pretty cool, because she seemed to know a lot about photography already, and she spent 7months in Europe. Well later on we got back together as a class and was given homework, already!

Find a reading of a Primary Source, a text procedure or a published photograph from the early 19th century (1720-1850) 

It's a bit scary, since they added at the end the fact that we'll have to discuss our source to some others during class next week. I think I might actually go to the library tomorrow to look for something after my workshop. I have no idea if I'm allowed to just photocopy the page, or not? I'll figure that out later. So anyways, even after that homework, we were told that we'll be emailed some more work, which I think is a reading from a book, which will apparently take "a few good hours to read and understand", which isn't a good thing, considering that would probably mean a full day for me.

And after that, we basically had an 'early mark' at 6.45, and I left and waited for my sister & mum to pick me up, again, in the pouring rain. I ended up arriving home at 7.50, tired, drenched and starving!

And guess what? I'll definitely be feeling like that every Monday, for the next few months. =/